#7: Nancy Chin Wagner – Networking Coaching and How to Achieve Success and Have Fun While Meeting People

Sasha Raskin (Life Coach, Business Coach & Counselor):     Hi, everyone. So this is Go New. I’m Sasha Raskin. And this is a platform for self-education, self-growth, education for the things that usually are not taught in schools like relationships and finances and starting your own business. And I’m very happy to be talking to today to Nancy Chin-Wagner whom in the past I had as a networking coach, and she’s probably the person I know that knows about this the most. And I think that this is such an overlooked theme for many of my coaching clients. And the biggest realization being it’s all about the relationship, right? And by nurturing the relationships in your network you can actually accomplish so much and so much faster as well. So Nancy, how about you introduce yourself? Take it away.

Nancy Chin-Wagner (Networking & Business Coach):     Sure. Sasha, I want to thank you very much for asking me to be on your podcast. And good luck on it and I think it’s going to be wonderful, because you like to give yourself out with the help of the students. And yes, I had a great time with you working with me and being a client, and I wanted to say as my company, as Nancy Chin-Wagner LLC, I’m a business networking coach, and what I like to do is really just like in your book, you’re helping people to be out there, to network, to build their network and to grow their business. 

So a lot of what I do is really business coaching, but more so in the networking realm, because there’s a lot of people out there that do business coaching, and I like to really build people’s self-esteem up, their confidence. Because it’s not easy, networking is not easy. For some people like myself, I love to network, because I love to know about people, right? For other people networking could be one of those four-letter words, they can’t stand it, they don’t like it, they’re very harsh to get out there, right? To do something and it’s like walking into a room and it’s like everybody’s staring at them, even though they’re not being stared at. But it’s that feeling. So I like to help people to overcome those fears. 

Sasha Raskin (Life Coach, Business Coach & Counselor):     So let me ask you this, sometimes when coaching clients come to me and they want to let’s say start a new career path or just find a better job, and I talk to them about the fact that 70% of the jobs are not being advertised even, right? And what is usually is the leftovers, right? If the employer couldn’t find anyone good through his network, then this is kind of the last resort. 

And when I talk about the value of networking and also sharing my experience working with you, I usually see resistance, people definitely prefer to just be sending out applications, hoping that they will be given something, without making the effort. So why do you think it is so, right? The one of the easiest paths I believe in to creating a job for yourself versus trying to get what’s out there is to meet with decision makers, and network, and creating those relationships. And people seem to be very resistant to it. I know from my experience in the past, that was not something I wanted to do. Where do you think that comes from? Fear in the world of networking. 

Nancy Chin-Wagner (Networking & Business Coach):     Very good question. Also about how people are resisting to be out there networking and meeting people, because I recently and when you said the word hope, we can all hope for the best, we can all hope to make a lot of money, we can all hope to hopefully my friends will send me people. It just doesn’t work like that. Maybe in the beginning they want to help you out, but if you continue to do that you’re not really helping yourself. 

So I just learned something, and I’m going to give you this tip for you and your readers and for your clients, and that is recently I had someone that wanted to get a job. Now people come to me because I do know people, I’m networking, but the thing is is I’m not a recruiter. I’m here to help people to do it on their own. So what this person does is got her resume and she sends it all out, just like you said, a lot of people do, right? 

What had happened was she didn’t actually meet people or knows people who are out there networking, except for me. And she took my class, so she goes, “I’m really good at networking now, Nancy. I’m out there and I’m meeting people and everything.” But the smaller issue is number one when you do networking and you’re talking to people, you’re building, like you said earlier, you’re building the trust and you’re building the relationships. And what’s important in your business is your time and also what you’re valued at and relationships, those are really important issues. 

So if you don’t have a networking person that you can tap into that knows people, it will take you longer to get that resume looked at. And so the tip is this, I heard from a recruiter when people send their resumes in there’s thousands of them. The thing is they already have a filter on their system for the resumes of what they’re looking for in a particular position. 

If that resume comes in, and it’s not in what they are looking for, no one’s going to call you back. It’s just going to go into the circular file or it’s just going to go into a saved file that they have, that they may get someone to look at in the future. But you mean there’s not a real person that’s going through all the resumes? She goes, “Are you kidding?” There’s too many resumes to go through. 

So if you’re thinking, “Okay, now it’s like graduation was, what, a week ago?” That’s another 5,000 people graduating from CU out there in the market looking for a job, and probably going for the same one a lot of your clients and a lot of people out there are trying to look for. So the best thing is find a networker, find a person that’s in a community that really can help you get a word in or get your name out there. 

So what I did was for this other person, she kind of … another thing is procrastination, a lot of people don’t follow up or they don’t send in what they’re supposed to send in. And so actually she came to visit me to give me an update, I gave her a connection in February. There was a company that was opening up, they were hiring about another 3500 people, they were expanding like crazy. And she has finished a course in coding last year, and I said, “In February send your resume over there, because I was told that they will be looking at it because they’re still a small firm, so they’ll look at all resumes coming in.” 

When I met her two months later she didn’t send it in. So I said, “Well, give me a resume, let’s print it out, and I’ll just walk …” It was right next door to me where I work. So I went over there and I actually saw the CEO and I said, “Do you have like 10, 15 minutes to just sit down and talk to her.” She’s not like dressed for it or anything, he said, “That’s okay and stuff.” Do you know that because of my networking and knowing him, he actually sat with her to talk to her and then refer her to one of his engineers to talk to her? 

Unfortunately, where she was … She learned her information from Galvanize; two months ago they already hired somebody from Galvanize. So she missed the opportunities. And it’s not easy, it’s not like what I say is always going to happen. But I mean, you have to jump on it right away. 

Sasha Raskin (Life Coach, Business Coach & Counselor):     So the important thing in what you’re saying, some of the things are (1) she was one person away, one introduction away from a CEO of the company she wanted to work, right? This is huge. And it’s easier to go for a real person than through all those filters and compete with all those thousands of other applications. And it reminds me, I was on the other side of that, and I was doing executive coaching for a CEO of a non-profit and we work … she actually was the founder and the CEO, and she wanted to step down as the CEO, and just to be involved on kind of big picture level but not do the everyday work. And so we were hiring a different CEO. 

And within the first three hours we received, I think it was 500 applications or so. And this is a high level position, right? And I realized, “Well, this is not a fair game if you’re playing by the rules that everyone is playing,” right? 

Nancy Chin-Wagner (Networking & Business Coach):     What makes you stand out? 

Sasha Raskin (Life Coach, Business Coach & Counselor):     Yeah, and we went through the first 10 applications, that’s all. We didn’t have time, we needed to … and the people … the person who was hired was a person she knew that didn’t even apply, right? So once again, it was through personal relationship not through this in a way cold calling process of application, right? 

Nancy Chin-Wagner (Networking & Business Coach):     Right. 

Sasha Raskin (Life Coach, Business Coach & Counselor):     So could you tell us what does it even mean networking? 

Nancy Chin-Wagner (Networking & Business Coach):     Well, networking for me and should be out there is something that’s mutually beneficial for you and your client. So what you want to do is be able to, as the golden rule of networking is, is people will buy products from and services from people they know, like and trust. So if people want to get out there and really start meeting people but they don’t follow up, they don’t try to get to know the other person, that is just for me it’s like someone coming in and trying to cold sell you. All they want to do is sell. 

When I see that happening I decide I really don’t want to be talking to him, because the person’s not interested in me, they’re interested in talking about themselves. And as a network I’m more interested in listening to what someone else says, because while you listen to someone else you’re listening to their motivation, what their likes are, what their dislikes are, what obstacles they’re facing, how can they overcome certain fears. Because when you’re doing the listening – you’re actually hearing and they’re feeling very comfortable sitting there talking to you. 

I mean, there’s so many questions that can be asked, and people love to talk. And you know me, I can love to talk, so I have to really go real hard to say, “Stop talking, listening.” But the thing is I just enjoy talking to people, because you can learn so much from someone else, and you can even ask them at a networking event what other networking events have you been to that you really liked. So why would you go to a networking event, like she didn’t think it was so exciting or there wasn’t enough people there or it wasn’t engaging enough, because I’m sure many of your readers and your listeners has also been to networking event and they go, “Oh, my God, what a waste of time for two hours?” 

So you really got to do a little bit of research on where you should be going, what organization should you be attending, is this doable for me, is it something I could be relating to. And then if you’re an introvert or an extrovert, that could be a whole thing that could stop you from being able to have those conversations with people and being engaging. 

The network is really helping your business, to grow your business, to build a relationship. It’s like a marketing tool. 

Sasha Raskin (Life Coach, Business Coach & Counselor):     So if we would break it down the what in networking, and please correct me if I’m wrong, the what is really getting out there into the world and sometimes into the unfamiliar to meet new people. And it can be in formal and informal environments, right? And expanding the people that I know that we might benefit each other, right? So it’s really an authentic way of marketing offline, right? 

And what you are saying is that the most important thing is not to skip, even if my end goal is to sell something, a service or a product – not to skip the human part or a deep connection with a new being, with a new human. And it reminds me the Dalai Lama said that everyone wants the same thing; everyone wants to be seen, loved and respected, right? So you’re saying if you’re on the other end of that, and someone is meeting you and you’re feeling, “Well, they’re only after my money, that’s all they want, they don’t see the person,” so it’s just unpleasant to be engaged in the conversation. 

Nancy Chin-Wagner (Networking & Business Coach):     Correct, correct. I mean, it’s hard to be able to sell your services unless you’re there to really help them, right? And in order to help them you’ve got to know about them. In order to know about them you’ve got to have a conversation, build the trust, and they have to like you to work with you, right? Because if they don’t, they’re going to close up, and then you’re not able to get deeper into what their needs are and what their goals and what they want to do. 

Everybody I’m sure wants to build their business, it’s how do they go about building that business. If you do it by yourself, I mean, that’s hard – that’s why you need another person that’s a networker that can … that’s in the community that can help you have those attachments without wasting your time and energy to do that. 

But most people like you say, they just keep sending the resumes, they don’t want to listen, they don’t want to be out there. And even if they send a resume, they still have to sit down and talk with someone, right? 

Sasha Raskin (Life Coach, Business Coach & Counselor):     Yes. 

Nancy Chin-Wagner (Networking & Business Coach):     So if you don’t have the interviewing skill, if you’re not able to have the communication … So it’s not just networking, I mean, there’s a lot more to it as you know, working with your clients, it’s the same thing. So it’s a matter of being out there, be able to encourage people to talk about themselves. And then your job is to listen to them. Because, like I said, it gives you an opportunity to show them what’s important, show them if they have value. What do you want to do to help and impact someone else’s life? Are you volunteering? I mean, there’s different areas, I mean, maybe later we can talk about it, of where you can go so try to be a part of the community. 

And as you know here in Boulder, everybody is involved in something in the community, because it’s growing like crazy. So there are plenty of opportunities. It’s just where do you look, who do you know. 

Sasha Raskin (Life Coach, Business Coach & Counselor):     So I know that your clients come to you because they’re having difficulties, we have this process, right? No one comes to a coach usually because everything is great in their lives, right? And people want to change and grow when something isn’t fulfilling. So for me, as an introvert, the two most helpful things that I learned from you and not just learn, actually you went with me to networking events when we did it experientially, right? So it’s not that you’re just filling me some information, you literally took me by the hand if I was talking to someone for five minutes and you’re like, “No, cut it out. 30 seconds, exchange business cards, get a coffee later. You’re here to meet quantity, not develop a quality relationship,” right? 

So for me it was two things, (1) understanding the unique world of networking events that have their own rules, and (2) as an introvert, learn how to deal with my own anxiety when being in a place that’s so crowded. 100, 200 people, everyone talking at once, and just my nervous system is overwhelmed, right? And that’s how I am, that’s fine. You were just showing me, “Well, that’s fine, and you can learn how to work with that.” 

Nancy Chin-Wagner (Networking & Business Coach):     Correct. And just to go back on one of your points, is it’s not the accumulation of business cards. If there is no connection, right? That’s what we said, if there’s no connection – there’s no need to have the business card because there’s nothing that you can share with each other at the time. But you say, “Hello,” and you greet and everything like that. But if there is a connection and you want to continue it, then you go ahead and say, “Hey, do you mind we have coffee later? Because we’re both here networking and I would love to continue our conversation.” 

This way you’re not cutting them off number one, number two is you and him or her could have a quiet conversation, just a one-on-one. And then if something comes off it, then you already reached out and you’re sitting with them having this conversation and learning how you can mutually be beneficial to each other doing this networking. 

Because one of the things I don’t like is, well, what I call card sharks, people keep shoving you a business card. They don’t even know you, they don’t want to introduce you to anybody, but they’ll shove you and give you my card. Or they’ll give you a couple and say, “Give one to my friend.” Well, if I don’t know you, why would I want to do that, right? So you got to be really careful of your time. 

And yes, the other thing I love doing is taking people out to networking events. So that’s kind of one of my services, shadowing somebody, so I can watch them how they network, and then we come together and we talk about it. Like, for you at that time it was really … it was probably too big of a room, but I wanted to see what is the networking and how it goes about, and you watched me as I went to network a lot of people. 

But I’ve been doing it for over 15 years, and so for me it’s much more easy if people come to me because they already know my name and everything, it’s the branding portion of it. Well, the other thing, and that’s why I get referrals too, like that, but more importantly is to get the feel of it. And remember one time it was like as long as you know what your anxiety is and stuff, and as long as you know what to do there, so if you do feel the anxiety, you and I went to the back of one … it wasn’t an office, but it was the back of the cafeteria where it was quieter. And I made sure you sat facing a wall versus the people. So that kind of calmed you down a little bit like that. 

But that can happen to anybody, you know what I mean? And also for an introvert, recharging yourself. If you go to a conference you can go back up to your room for 15, 20 minutes, come back down, just to have that peace and quiet. So it’s not like you have to network all the time with everybody else. You know yourself, so each person that knows themselves and knows how long they can be in a network event – don’t be stuck with sitting, standing and talking with somebody. 

I had one person as an introvert stood like 10 minutes with somebody, and I looked at her and she’s still standing there. And I’m going, “You’ve got to be kidding.” So I went over and I said, “Excuse me, I need to talk to her.” And pulled her away and she goes, “Oh, God. Thank you so much for doing that.” So you got a watch for it. And that’s what I do with people, I watch them, I see what they’re doing to make them comfortable. 

And it’s all practice, Sasha. It’s all practice of being out there talking to people. And you know your own insights, you know when to stop, and you know when to continue, and you know what organizations and the groups you want to be in, to relate to your business. 

Sasha Raskin (Life Coach, Business Coach & Counselor):     Yeah. This is such a good point, and this was a huge insight for me. Because even though I knew when it was getting too much, my insight from working with you was that it’s actually okay to pause and stop. And I don’t have to push through it, right? I don’t have to force it, no one is forcing me to do this, right? I’m doing this for my own self-growth, like any skill that can be learned, networking can be learn. And that’s what you do. And it’s just if I decide to do something that’s challenging for me and is outside of my comfort zone, I want to be careful not to do it too much, so it wouldn’t just scare me so much that I would just get back to my comfort zone forever, right? 

Nancy Chin-Wagner (Networking & Business Coach):     Right, yeah. And I think it’s very good to challenge and step out of the box of the comforts once in a while, because you may ask a question that’s probably not in your comfort zone, but that question could be like a light shining at the end of the tunnel for the other person that will be talking to you about different things and opening up, because no one had asked them about that question.

So I think if the opportunity is there – it’s how you do it, it’s what you say to people. It’s really about creating those qualified connections, but knowing who can do that. And then being able to quantify it yourself in your own business. 

Sasha Raskin (Life Coach, Business Coach & Counselor):     That’s beautiful. So how do you do it? So I have at Go New I teach a class about authentic online marketing, and I feel that what you teach is authentic offline marketing, right? So how do you balance this out? You’re saying, “Yeah, you don’t want to just exchange business cards like a robot with others,” right? You do want to create a connection. At the same time you’re limited with time and you do want to meet a lot of people, how do you balance creating authentic connection with a new person and understanding that you maybe have one minute to do so? Do you have some specific tips in terms of what do I say? 

Nancy Chin-Wagner (Networking & Business Coach):     One of the things is authenticity comes from within, right? Selling is really getting out there and selling yourself and branding and stuff, but you can’t really be effective unless you have that authenticity within yourself, core values. That’s really important. 

Sasha Raskin (Life Coach, Business Coach & Counselor):     What does that mean specifically? 

Nancy Chin-Wagner (Networking & Business Coach):     Yeah. So I like meeting people so I do networking at different events, organizations, I do speaking events like at CU and things like that for the college students. And mostly for online now, this is different, see, but you’re doing it right now by having a podcast. This is online, this is social media. It’s the same thing when you do your Zoom and you have a class, you’re doing it online but you are seeing people. Now I’m sure there’s other people that don’t want to be visible, but you are having the communication which is important. 

So having that communication is important. The authenticity comes in when you’re actually teaching them from your heart, giving what they need, and letting them know and giving them the opportunity to ask questions. Because that’s when they know if you’re either BS-ing, sorry about that, but that’s what it is. Or you really are authentic and really are truthful and really understanding of what you want to convey to your clients. Because we’ve got a lot of people out there that are sellers, they’re like the greasy salesmen as they call them and things like that. 

At this point in my life I’m just like, “If I don’t need to be talking to them, I think I don’t.” Because I think there’s so many people that try so hard that want … they’ve been … I’m from New York, so I’m going to say this, so what it is, is they get screwed because they’ve been to so many coaches, they’ve been to so many people that they say they can produce and help them do this and that. And they get sold a package of goods. But they don’t get sold of the person who’s delivering the package of goods. 

Did you know that person? Who referred that person? Where they’re a good sales person, and that’s how you fell for it. The thing it is, is get testimonials from other people. If someone says, “Sasha’s a great psychotherapists and coach and he’s going to be wonderful to working with you and everything.” Okay, who has Sasha worked that you could talk to that has had success with you? They can authenticate who you are and what you do and what a great person you are that really is helping people overcome certain fears and mindsets. 

A lot of what I do is people are set in their mindsets with a lot of things, because they’re carrying a lot of baggage from the past. The thing is now you’ve got to open up a little bit. See that light in the tunnel; work with the right people in order to move forward. So authenticity is really important. You just got to be able to transfer that to the person that you’re dealing with to be able to. 

And you know what’s important, Sasha? Credibility, you got to be credible out there, which you are, to be talking to people and people know you. And you be genuine in what you’re doing, and that’s authenticity. Like, I’m sure you hear other people when you were asking about me, I mean, they talked about Nancy Chin-Wagner this and that. And I’ve gotten people to come to me and says … and when I introduce myself they go, “I’ve heard your name before. And it’s so good to see you in person.” 

So when you build a credibility, that’s part of authenticity, because you’re true to what you’re saying and people believe in you and you inspire people. That’s all part of authenticity. And really knowing what you’re delivering to people, that’s important. But it’s all part of communication, it’s all part of listening, and you’re in that field. 

Sasha Raskin (Life Coach, Business Coach & Counselor):     So let’s say for the people who are watching, listening, and reading, let’s say they go to a networking event for the first time ever, and let’s say if we do a quick role play and you are that person, right? How would you authentically connect with me in a way that would be meaningful within the limitations of 30 seconds, one minute that you have, two minutes? What would you say to me? 

Nancy Chin-Wagner (Networking & Business Coach):     You can do three to five, Sasha, that’s okay to talk. 

Sasha Raskin (Life Coach, Business Coach & Counselor):     Yeah, three to five.

Nancy Chin-Wagner (Networking & Business Coach):     But here’s the thing, I’m a new person going into another networking event. 

Sasha Raskin (Life Coach, Business Coach & Counselor):     So you start with … Yeah, you’re a new person. 

Nancy Chin-Wagner (Networking & Business Coach):     Okay, I’m coming in new. So if I’m coming new into a networking event, not knowing anything, right? 

Sasha Raskin (Life Coach, Business Coach & Counselor):     Yes. 

Nancy Chin-Wagner (Networking & Business Coach):     I walk in the network, which that has happened to me when I first moved here from the East Coast. I didn’t know anybody. And now you know I know a lot, but I’ve been in here a number of years. But this is what I had to do, it was someone mentioned to me if you’re doing a business you should just join an organization like a chamber, okay? So I did, I walked into an event, and I know you and probably (Yuri?) is not going to believe me, but I was introvert back in New York City. And what had happened when I went and went in, it’s like your eyes just go everywhere, it’s like, “Where do you start? Where do you go to? Who to check in?” They’re really nice, and you’re checking your name, they give you your nametag, and you walk in and you go, “Oh, my God.” 

So one of the things I did when I started, I would look for someone that’s either standing alone because they’re new probably, right? Or they could be an introvert on the side and you could see they’re either with a drink on the side or just having something they’re eating and they’re on the side. So you’ll find those on the outskirts of a meeting, right? So if you’re new that’s probably one of the first things you would go towards, is one of those people, right? Because they’re probably there too that’s new. 

So what you would ask that person, you say, “Hi. My name is Nancy.” And you would say, “Hi. My name is Sasha.” And I would say, “Is this your first time here?” And you go, “Oh, yeah, it’s my first time. I don’t know anybody here.” “It’s my first time here too. So what do you do?” And then there’s a conversation that starts and stuff. “Oh, why did you come to this event? Did someone tell you about it?” And then you get to the point where they start talking about it. 

Then you’re making them feel relaxed, and then you’re relaxed, right? And then you could say, “There’s the person over there looks like, do you want to meet the person? Let’s go together.” Now you’ve got a buddy that’s walking in there to meet somebody else, right? Then after a while you may want to say, “Well, let’s get something to drink.” Every place you move, there’s going to be someone around you probably less than two feet away from you that you can have a conversation with. 

And once you’re there for a little bit talking, you will be able to talk to people. Now I’m not saying it’s going to happen every time for a person that’s an introvert, it just takes the little steps. But if you have the skills and the training and know how to do that, and I offer classes and things like that, so that’s one of the things that you can work on. It doesn’t mean you have to go to three or four networking a week, go to one, go to a month. But just stepping out. And you may even build friendships out there, maybe not for business, but for friendships – that would be a good thing to do too. 

And like I’ve told many of my clients – each person has a sphere of over 200 people. Like, you were saying, you probably know over 229 people. I know, well, a lot of people too and so do … Who’s to say that someone that you know could be a great connection to somebody else as long as you’re talking to them. And so all you need is one good connection with someone and you can ask them for anything in the future for real. That’s what happened in CU. Yeah, that’s the importance of having the networks, that later on that you can tap into them and say, “Hey, I got another student that’s graduating from New York, that’s graduating from CU, they want to be in New York,” and I sent someone up to New York because they were asking me questions. So I connected them, that that girl from CU, the graduate went up there, she was up there for like five days, she already got a job from that person I connected her to and she was able to move up to New York and live there. 

Sasha Raskin (Life Coach, Business Coach & Counselor):     Yeah, such a great change. And I noticed this shift in myself, right? Just maybe the first period just getting comfortable with the situation and really understanding what’s happening and how do I operate, then kind of going towards, “Well, what’s my goal in here,” right? Which is maybe to connect and be connected to others. And what I noticed, the shift that came later, many times I was the person who was connecting others, right? And this is a big leverage to have, right? 

Nancy Chin-Wagner (Networking & Business Coach):     Yes, it is. 

Sasha Raskin (Life Coach, Business Coach & Counselor):     The ability to provide value for others. 

Nancy Chin-Wagner (Networking & Business Coach):     Right, that’s wonderful, and that’s exactly what it is. Because it’s the giving part of it, in business networking, the people you know – it’s the giving part of it. And it will come back to you. It’s really … It’s almost like raising your self-awareness of what’s around you, right? And being able to make and create those connections that you think it’s going to be happening. 

Because you may meet people, and then all of a sudden it’s like you’re talking to somebody and going, “I just met someone that probably can work with you.” And, boom, that’s a connection. And if they do work with that person it’s like they owe you almost. Not really saying that, but it’s something like they’re going to appreciate that you went forward and you did this without them asking. It’s the give and take. It’s like you’re really sharing. Isn’t that wonderful? It makes you feel good, but the thing is you’re making an impact on someone, right? And more importantly, you got to follow-up, and a lot of people drop the ball on that one, the follow-up. 

Sasha Raskin (Life Coach, Business Coach & Counselor):     So you’re saying networking is not just about the networking event, it’s what’s happening after. It’s not in a way when dating, it’s not really about that first date, it is for filtering out or just making the first connection. But it’s the relationship that happens after the first date, right? 

Nancy Chin-Wagner (Networking & Business Coach):     It’s the deeper relationship. And the deeper relationships build the trust that you have with that person. And if they trust you, then they’re willing to listen to what you’re going to say, and then also refer you. I mean, the best is having your clients and testimonials and people that know you to be your referral group, right? Because they know you. And I would rather refer to people I know then people I just meet and say hello and I don’t see them again or I see them occasionally. You know what I mean? 

But my thing is I love meeting people, so I will see them. But if there’s no engaging conversations going forward of sharing and saying, “Hey, Nancy, let me send you this article I just read. This is really good.” Or something like that. Those are always things that you touch people with and you encourage them to say, “I don’t know him that well, but he’s sending me these articles and I find them very interesting.” You can touch them in a way that you don’t even know by just doing an article exchange. 

Like, one lady was doing … she’s teaching people who want to get to meet people, because she’s really talking about the sexual trafficking, sex trafficking that’s around and stuff. And I sent her an article and she just told me, she goes, “Thank you so much, because it’s so important for me to reach the people that are in this field,” right? So for her it’s like, “Oh, my God, it was like I just talked to Nancy and she’s sending me this.” Do I expect anything from her like sending me an article and networking? Not really. I’m just doing it because I wanted to do it and she happened to say on a Twitter or something like that, “I would love to meet people that …” You know, you got to ask and stuff so people can help you look at it. 

But if you know that she’s doing it and you don’t talk to her for two or three months and just say, “I just read this article, thought you’d be interested in it.” There you go. What would that take? 10 seconds. But for 10 seconds that person’s really appreciating you for doing that for them. We can only read so much and we can only go to so many events and we can only do so many things, I wish we can duplicate ourselves, but we can’t, so we got to meet the right people who will be able to help us do effective marketing for the business. And that’s when that [unclear/cross talking 39:19] 

Sasha Raskin (Life Coach, Business Coach & Counselor):     So you’re providing a really simple recipe, right? If you’re a service provider and you want to go, for example, and you want to grow your business – simply provide a service before you try to sell something.

Nancy Chin-Wagner (Networking & Business Coach):     Right. You give, you give, because when you have those kind of quality conversations, what you want to do is really get to know the person so that you can send them an article, you can send them a thank-you note or whatever. People like those touches. Not expecting anything in return, but being able to say, “Well, that was very nice of that person.” 

I have a gentleman that when I send a thank-you card or whatever, he saves them. And I go, “Why are you saving my thank-you cards.” He goes, “Because when I open it up, it makes me feel good.” Simple like that. And so I really appreciate people thanking, obviously, but also having the gratitude to know that you can help someone without any expectation back. That’s important. And because they’re going to know people that you don’t know, it’s just one of those … It just happens like that. Because people go in different circles, right? So networking helps you bring those circles a little closer to you by tapping in the right people. 

You got to develop strong networking and loyal group of people through networking, through friends, through families. Because people go, “Well, that’s not networking.” And I go, “You got a barbecue, you’re networking, you’re talking to people,” right? It’s not just friends and family there, some people are bringing their friends and you’re bringing a friend and they’re meeting other people and stuff. That’s considered networking. So if you think of it in your mind it’s just something different that’s more casual, then maybe that will help you relieve the tension and relieve the anxiety. 

Because I’m sure when people go to barbecues they [unclear/cross talking 41:22] 

Sasha Raskin (Life Coach, Business Coach & Counselor):     Well, what you’re doing, you’re in a way taking out the working out of the networking. And you’re making it more net funning, right? It’s more … Like, it doesn’t have to be such a hard thing, you can actually enjoy it. And that’s what I experience when I go and network with the frame of mind of I am going to meet interesting people and probably learn something out of those new relationship. This is great, this is such a good investment of my time. 

Nancy Chin-Wagner (Networking & Business Coach):     Exactly. 

Sasha Raskin (Life Coach, Business Coach & Counselor):     And coming back to providing … 

Nancy Chin-Wagner (Networking & Business Coach):     You can say I can meet three people today, a little goal in your mind. “I’d like to go in and meet three interesting people.” Don’t put a lot of things like I got to meet 10 people, I got to grab 20 card. No, you don’t have to do that. And the thing is like you said, Sasha, it’s your own mindset that have you build up all these fears and stuff. And the main thing is to really enjoy yourself while you’re there. And if it’s a little too much and you have a little anxiety, then leave. Thank you very much and then leave. 

There are tons of networking events going on, everywhere, in Boulder County. The thing is to choose what you want and where to go. That’s my business [unclear 42:51], but I’m also doing coaching with people who are having problems and they don’t want to do it with a group, they just want to do the one-on-one, so I do that. So I think it’s, like you said, it’s the fun to be meeting the right people that can help you. Because everybody has to start somewhere, right? 

About the Author Sasha Raskin

Sasha Raskin, MA, is an  international #1 bestselling co-author , the founder and CEO of  Go New , a transformational education program, a  life coach, and business coach and a  psychotherapist in Boulder, CO. He is working on a P.h.D in Counseling Education and Supervision and is an adjunct faculty at the Contemplative Counseling master’s program at Naropa University, from which he also graduated. Sasha has been in the mental health field for more than 10 years, worked with youth at risk, recovery, mental health hospitals, and coached individuals, couples, families, startups, and groups. He has created mindfulness stress reduction and music therapy programs within different organizations. Whether it’s in person or via phone/video calls, whether as  a counselor , a  life coach or a  business coach, Sasha uses cutting-edge, research-based techniques to help his clients around the world to thrive.   As a  coach Sasha Raskin provides individual and group  coaching in Boulder, Colorado, and worldwide via video and phone calls, drawing from over ten years of experience. His services include:  life coaching,  business coaching,  career coaching,  ADD / ADHD coaching,  leadership coaching, and  executive coaching. Schedule your free 20-minute  coaching phone consultation with Sasha Raskin As a  counselor in Boulder, CO, Sasha provides  individual counseling in Boulder, CO ,  family therapy in Boulder, CO, and  couples therapy in Boulder,  marriage counseling in Boulder, and  couples intensives /  couples retreats, drawing from over ten years of clinical experience.  Schedule your free 20-minute  psychotherapy phone consultation with Sasha Raskin

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